I thought we were done discussing the issue of self-sabotage but then I remembered a phone call that got me thinking. It seems there are still more ways in which we can sabotage our own dreams and goals, and quite frankly this one can make me angry.
In this phone call, I was talking to a gentleman and he shared an experience he had that he felt had influenced his entire life. Unfortunately, I have heard many variations of this story over the years, but it never ceases to bother me. This gentleman is now in his 60s, doing okay overall, but very much aware that he has been sabotaging himself almost his entire life because of a comment made by a teacher when he was a kid. The teacher had told him that he just wasn’t any good at math and he should therefore look for a career that did not involve calculations of any kind. This gentleman realized that this one comment had influenced all of his career decisions, and while he could not but help wonder what he may have achieved without his teacher’s ‘helpful’ input, he was determined not to allow it to influence his future choices.
Sometimes my mind connects dots in strange ways and this conversation got me thinking about something I experienced. A number of years ago now, Eldon and I decided to join our sons in one of their favorite outdoor activities—biking. (I wonder how much this was influenced by the Eldon’s Fit and Healthy collection? Lol!) When our youngest was still very small, biking was no problem for me, as I would hang back to keep him company and to encourage him to keep on going. However, it was not long before my three men would leave me in the dust! I would frequently remind myself that ‘Eldon uses the exercise bike all winter so he finds biking easy,’ and ‘Men are frequently stronger than women,’ but this really did not make me feel better. As the years went on I got a new bike and then I started riding my son’s cast-off bike. I did manage better on my son’s old bike, but my men could still leave me in the dust whenever they chose to! And boy, sometimes they would choose to do exactly that—laughing all the way!
There is a route close to our home that we like to ride together. The boys really like to see how fast they can go on the steep downhill slope, but then there is the uphill slope to face! For the longest time, I knew it was highly unlikely that I could ever make it and I invariably got off my bike when I was about 20% up the hill—pretty much when the momentum of the downhill hill slope was gone! Now, I knew I was not really trying as I was never out of breath when I quit, but no matter how much I told myself I could do better, I always stopped at about the same point.
A few years ago, we all got new bikes and after going riding a few times, for some reason we decided to take them into the bike store to have them professionally tuned up. The technician in the store informed me that I had been riding with my brakes partially on and that I should find it a lot easier now. I most certainly did! It was still work to keep up with my men, but now I could do it. You have no idea how good this felt. I don’t know if all the bikes I had had previously were defective in some way, or if I had simply gained strength and stamina with the biking we had done, but now I was no longer the weakling that I had thought I was. Actually I was pretty strong and healthy and doing well if I could kind of keep up with three strong super-healthy men!
Then I came to this hill—the same hill that had been defeating me for years! What do you think I did? Well, I now knew that I was strong and capable and that my bike was in tip-top condition—and I so very much wanted to succeed. Down the steep hill I went and then up the steeper hill. I reached the 20% mark where I had always quit before but I had lots of lung-power left and my legs felt fine. It was at the 80% mark that I started to feel like I was going to die—but I still pushed on. I was going so slowly but I was still on my bike and still making progress. One push, followed by the next until, lo and behold I had reached the top where I could cruise a little, catch my breath and rest my achy legs. I was so very proud of myself!
What Could You Achieve?
So what does this have to do with self-sabotage? When I believed I would fail, I quit. I did not give it my all. I knew I would fail so I didn’t even try. But when I knew there was a chance that I could succeed, I tried my utmost best. I worked so hard, every fiber of my being ached with the effort—and I succeeded! But what could I have achieved before my bike was tuned if I had only believed that I had a chance of succeeding? I would most certainly have managed to bike more than 20% of the way up that hill. In all probability I could have done another 20% without too much effort, and if I had really pushed myself I could maybe have gone 20% further. So if I had stopped sabotaging my own success, I could have gone 3 times the distance or more! What could you achieve if you were 3 times more successful at whatever you were trying to achieve? Would you stick to that diet more easily? Would you get that promotion at work? Would you pass that exam? Would you find your perfect partner or enhance your personal relationship?
I started this e-mail sharing with you a conversation I had with a gentleman, who was in his 60s before he realized the damage done by his teacher’s comment. He was looking for the best InnerTalk programs to assist him in changing this decades old pattern. Math is Easy in conjunction with our Eliminating Self-Sabotage is really the best way for him. Math is Easy would take away his belief that he is not good at math, and Eliminating Self-Sabotage would assist in all of those ancillary areas necessary for him to get out of his own way and to allow success to happen (such as knowing that he mattered, eliminating his negative inner script, having the confidence in his success, knowing that he really did deserve to have it all, etc.) But what you have to realize is that all of us have some of these beliefs. Maybe it was a comment from a friend who told you you were ‘crap’ at football and so you shouldn’t even try out. Perhaps a loved one told you not to worry about your weight as losing weight after 40 is impossible anyway. The sources of these negative, self-sabotaging beliefs are everywhere, but you don’t have to be trapped forever by them.
Eliminate YOUR Self-Sabotaging Beliefs!
Self-Sabotage is frequently your subconscious trying to protect you from being hurt for you cannot fail if you do not even try.
Our Eliminating Self-Sabotage collection consists of 9 programs on 8 CDs. There are 3 headphone programs that will give you that immediate boost, and 6 InnerTalk subliminal programs that you can simply play in the background as you go about your day and all night while you sleep. Self-Sabotage affects us all at some time or another so I really do think this album is a vital addition to your InnerTalk library. Perhaps you also want to pick up a set for a friend or a loved one. Stop holding yourself back. Free yourself and see how far up that hill you can go when you are no longer hampering yourself. Act Now! This is a limited time special offer so click here and get your collection right now.
Wishing you Love, Light and Laughter, always!
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